Road Scum

I have a special kind of hatred for those who ride their bikes in the road. Especially when there’s a perfectly good sidewalk 2 feet over where all the other pedestrians are located. I don’t know when our society shifted its opinion on cyclists, to the point that we seem to believe someone riding a bike is closer to being a car than a walking person. Is it the two wheels that confuse everyone? Personally, when I see a cyclist, I just see a person moving a wee bit faster than the walking people. So why, oh why, do they suddenly get to ride in the road? I don’t get it.

BUT let’s just say for the sake of the argument, our society now believes cyclists belong in the same category as cars. That’s why they get to ride in the car lanes, and use their arms to signal (very safe by the way) and make everyone have to drive in constant fear of knocking this person off the bike to their death. Fine. Cyclists are like cars. If this is true, why in God’s name do so many cyclists seem to think none of the rules of the road apply to them? For fuck’s sake, if you’re going to drive in the road like you’re a car, at least act like one. These cyclists – you know the douchebags I’m talking about - they switch back and forth between road and pedestrian rules, like some sort of double agent outlaw of the streets and sidewalks. What kind of horseshit is this? The cyclist decides to alternate between street and sidewalk, as seen convenient for them. Whichever set of rules or road identity get them there the fastest, that’s the one they go with.

Personally, I think it makes a lot more sense for the cyclists to be on the sidewalk. Until their bikes are sporting an engine – you know like a MOTORCYCLE, they can just stay put there. If there is an accident of some sort, I can pretty much guarantee there will be less of a mess if it happens on the sidewalk than on the road.

Along with being the douchebags that they are, these cyclists are opening up doors for others. The other day I saw a girl rollerblading in the road. Rollerbladers get to be in the road, really? Because ya, she’s pretty much like a car right? She is on 8 tiny little wheels, after all. What’s next? Skateboarders in the roads? Why don’t we just have people doing their morning jog smack dab in the middle of traffic? Oh I don’t know, maybe cause that would be bloody retarded. Aside from all my rage, I would also like to draw attention to another point. How is it that drivers can get tickets for going too slow, since it’s important that drivers keep up with the speed of traffic etc etc, and yet bikers get to go way below the speed of traffic? There’s pretty much no chance of a bike being able to keep up with the cars around them, unless the cars are crawling due to traffic. But apparently, that’s okay. On the road, we’ll just treat the bikers like we treated the “special” children in class, with their own set of privileges and unfair rules.

An Unwelcome Presence

Alright the time has come to bitch about something I feel very strongly about - lemon in my water. Ridiculous, right? WRONG. Dead wrong. One of my biggest pet peeves is going out for food, ordering water to drink, and getting water with a lemon floating inside it. If I wanted contaminated water, wouldn't I just ask for it? It's bad enough that people place the lemon on the side of the glass, as if water can't stand on its own. When we decided that water and lemon naturally go together, I don't know. But I definitely do not approve of this union.

As I was saying, this is bad enough, especially considering that little lemony bits seep into my pure water and totally ruin the taste for me. But why in the name of all that is holy must we actually drop a lemon inside?? Isn't it kind of a grand assumption on the side of the waiter/restaurant that all people want this? They must be assuming everyone loves lemon in their water. And of course a lot of people like lemony water (you're all freaks by the way), but I know some people that don't. So what the hell? Why has 'lemony water' become the default option? Shouldn't water alone be the default option since that is EXACTLY what I'm asking for? Anyway - those are my thoughts on the matter.

And while we're on the subject of things I didn't ask for - why oh why are people sprinkling cilantro into food without prior warning? I am not a picky person when it comes to food at all, trust me. I have ordered something and been brought something else and eaten it and enjoyed it just the same. But I HATE cilantro with a burning passion you may not fully understand. I think I'd rather eat a melted down tire with rat feces sprinkled on top. So you can imagine how I feel when I take a bite into something I assumed would taste good and am met with the most unfortunate tasting thing on the planet.

From my brief experience with cilantro, it has a strong and distinct taste. It seems people generally have a love/hate relationship towards it. So shouldn't we be warning people if their food is going to contain something that completely changes the taste? A lot of people hate this stuff. When did it become okay to not warn people about it being in their food? I once ordered a plate of chicken wings somewhere that described the sauce and everything about it but just left out the fact that it would have cilantro all over it. I couldn't eat the damn thing. I mean if I'm paying for a meal I'd like to assure I'm not gonna puke it up all over the table.

Okay, that is all for now. I hope to blog about happier things next time.

-A

Blog #1

That's right. I declare this blog #1. Would this win for most boring and unoriginal title in the world? Most likely. But I just hate titles. So get over it.

Anyway, I decided that my first blog should be a sort of intro about me. Not about where I go to school or work and what my horribly fascinating life is like, but just little tidbits about me that would probably make you think I'm a freak upon meeting me. I think these random things are crucial to "getting" me - in a really small-scale sort of way. Here we go:

1) I suffer from something called "Raynaud's Phenomenon." I like to say suffer, because it makes it sound so much more dramatic. What this means is I basically have the poorest blood circulation in the world. Since I live in Canada, the months between September to May consist of my toes and fingers spontaneously going numb and ice cold and WHITE. It's seriously freaky looking, it looks like I'm sporting the hands of a dead person. Anyway, a bit of a weird sight when you see it for the first time.

2)I have really loose tear ducts. I like to think that my tear ducts are hyperactive. And no I'm not just an emotional pansy, my eyes actually water at the oddest things. I cry when I laugh. I don't mean like I laughed my ass off for 8 minutes and squeezed one tear out. I mean I laugh for a minute and I need to wipe my whole face off.

3)I'm more afraid of insects than anyone you've ever met in your life. Especially spiders. If anyone ever tries to prank me involving insects, I will most likely never forgive them for it. I have literally shed tears at the sight of a spider before (re: loose tear ducts).

4)Even though I have pretty bad eyesight, I hate wearing my glasses and avoid doing so most of the time. This does cause some social issues. Like for example, if you're 3 feet away from me I may have no idea who you are. Then I have to dance between this pleasant smile that won't be creepy if I don't know you, but a not-too-fake smile in case I do know you and don't wanna look like a bitch. I'm sure many people have judged me on being a bitch/freak/social retard based on experiences stemming from this issue alone. Never mind the rest of my awkwardness.

5)I eat like an animal sometimes. It might alarm you if we're going for our first meal together. Especially if I'm hungry. I like to warn people ahead of time. I finish waaay quicker than anyone else and usually with a big mess all over my mouth, as well as in random places like my elbow or forehead.

Well I think that's sufficient for now. I'm sure you'll learn more of me as we go along. And of course you'll fall in love with the rare flower that I am. Or not, whatever. Alright I'm out for now.

bye!

-A